i am officially fatter than I have been in the last decade. Let's just say it, out in the open. I've gained weight - like, a lot of weight. And it sucks.
Right now I'm recovering from injury number two of the last several months - injuring my ankle was the first, and slicing my leg open was the second. In between I got bronchitis. Working out has been...impossible. And as you can imagine, my depression skyrocketed every time I was yet again sequestered to my house alone to recover from this next ailment. And the weight went on. I made apple crisp from apples I had picked at an orchard and ate about half of it. I ordered food in because it hurt to stand and cook. I got lazy, and I started to go to the place where I gave zero fucks, and just ate whatever I wanted. And boy, does it show now.
But today, reading dr. Fuhrman's "the end of dieting" I had an epiphany: maybe all these ailments aren't karma or some way of the world trying to get back at me for some unknown deed, but maybe they're supposed to be a wake up call: figure out your food/depression issues, Head, or you'll keep getting injured!!
I wish it could be easy. I wish it could be like on tv, where they just eat everything and look amazing (not happening!!!), and I wish I didn't have to commit to healthy, no-sweets eating100%. Can I do, like, 80%??? But I tried that. It got me here, falling off the wagon, and letting the world determine my diet instead of letting the truth do it. The world is full of awful foods, people. Awful, addictive foods that are trying to ruin my life. The time to hesitate is through - it is the hour for embracing health, and getting rid of temptation.
The stitches come out on Tuesday, and I think I'm ready for it...
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